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All the Right Reasons

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★★★★☆
(391 Reviews)

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  • Before you readers threaten to kill me, read me out: I tried, I really did. I tried to listen to this as best I could with an open mind. I wanted to have an objective opinion about this album.

    But there’s only so long you can hold a blowtorch to your ears.

    Nickelback’s ALL THE RIGHT REASONS is yet another multiplatinum excuse to frown upon the state of modern music. They’ve been writing the same boring music for years now and have so far failed to broadcast a song I might actually enjoy. The songs are, in keeping with their well-established reputation, horribly formulaic. From the music to the lyrics, it’s the same song every time.

    Sadly, the lyrics ruin most of my listening experience by themselves. “Animals” and “Fight For All the Wrong Reasons” are another “Figured You Out,” and all three are chock full of the same classless, shallow lyrics. By this day and age, I’d hoped that bands would write deeper lyrics and stop with this nonsense. (In the case of “Fight For All the Wrong Reasons,” an otherwise musically-(dare I say)-exciting song that actually has some nice heavy guitar work is singlehandedly mutilated by the lyrics (“You got off/Every time you got onto me…I guess it’s kinda hard to leave/When you’re going down on me….). Same thing goes for the Dimebag tribute song “Side of a Bullet”; my guess is that Mr. Abbott would turn over in his grave if he heard this garbage.

    Also, trying to sugar-coat an album of dreadful music with overproduction just blows your credibility. The piano strains are a shining example. This is a common problem for modern music; more time is spent polishing the finished product than actually coming up with songs to which people can relate.

    People need to finally realize that these guys have been writing the same song for five albums. It’s getting terminally boring. But then again, I truly don’t expect much from soulless corporate drivel like this.

    To use this CD as anything other than a doorstop or a coaster (which constitute a “right reason” to purchase it) is simply an exercise in futility.

    Posted on February 15, 2010