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Dethalbum II

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(19 Reviews)

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  • In a recent scientific study 99.98% of people listening to Dethalbum II die… instantly… in a bloody explosion. Survival rate after initial exposure is nominal as long as you head bang constantly.

    As for the album:

    - Nathan Explosion graces us with some high pitched growls. Probably the most common cause of instant deth associated with listening to the album.
    - Skwisgaar makes “demonically fast” seem like “unicornally slow” with his supreme command of a guitar. My fingers bleed just listening to the album.
    -Not sure if Toki even plays on this album.
    -Murderface made all sandwiches that were consumed during the making of this album and it really shows. He makes a brutal sandwich.
    -Pickles never disappoints. What he lacks in hair he makes up in 16th note double bass pedal beats.

    As for the songs themselves:

    -Bloodlines: Gets you really hooked into the album. If you don’t feel like you’ve been punched in the stomach after listening to this song you must be some kind of God.
    -The Gears: Just when you thought you could get a break from the metal think again. By now your neck should start getting sore.
    -Burn The Earth: The solo in this song demands air guitaring. Only your worthless hands will be able to only match 2% of the notes.
    -Laser Cannon Deth Sentence: The main riff of this song is brutal.
    -Black Fire Upon Us: The slowest song on the album. This will probably be your local high school’s slow dance song for all of the school dances.
    -Dethsupport: most people must be put on life support at this point in the album… therefore the appropriate song title.
    -The Cyborg Slayers: My only complaint about this song is that my ears are not efficient enough to hear all of the notes during the solo. Hopefully my cyborg masters will give me a cybernetic implant…
    -I Tamper With The Evidence At The Murder Site Of Odin: Valhalla recently gained the rights to use this song for their alarm clocks to get everyone in a killing mood first thing in the morning.
    -Murmaider II: The Water God: Sequel? Check. Brutal? Check. Shredding? Check. Metal? Check. Mermaid? Check. Murder? Check.
    -Comet Song: What can be more brutal than a fiery deth from above.
    -Symmetry: This song carries us to the end of the album with a brutal riff… making us feel like we’ve been chopped into two perfectly symmetrical pieces.
    -Volcano: If you’ve made this far into the album you’re doing pretty good. Don’t let your guard down because you could very well die before listening to the entire album. Brutal end to a brutal album.

    If you’ve made it through a listen, repeat over and over into oblivion.

    Posted on December 5, 2009