Just when you thought rock didn’t matter at all … Hail Tsar, the outrageous LA punk-pop-rock band that makes you want to throw bricks through the police station windows and pound a hole in the dashboard. After more than a year of thrilling Hollywood, the band’s debut LP is better than we could have imagined. Beautiful, savage songs, thick with hooks and searing guitars, locomotive bass and staggering drums. It sounds like a combination of Clash anthems, Ziggy Stardust scuz, Replacements’ hope, Nirvana violence, T.Rex groove, ELO pop, Guns n Roses’ swagger … all processed and infected by some sort of Martian revolutionaries in 2057 and beamed back to a beach party that turns freakish, lasers and sirens and tidal waves and teen girls dancing around a bonfire of $100 bills. “Gurl Who Wouldn’t Die” is the secret weapon, a final track of lush broken lust that will be the slow-dance prom song of 2001. Everything that comes before is huge, loud, from another time. This record will start 10,000 rock bands.